Fearless.

First of all, Happy 4th of July. Please continue to pray for our troops.

Wow, what a whirlwind it has been I don't even know where to start. Well first I can say that I am thankful for the experience I had and for even getting the chance to do something like this. So I thank God for everything he has blessed me with.

So first off, I got invited to audition for the ABC talent showcase. I didn't make it through, but the fact that I even made it through two rounds is awesome to me. I'm proud. The fact that I was even picked out of thousands of people to come audition is a huge accomplishment to me. I'm not disappointed that I didn't make it, it wasn't meant for me or my time. But I got to live in New York for 2ish weeks and that was so fun. Up until the end when drama came in and ruined it, but everything happens for a reason.

One thing I learned while I was in New York, was how to be fearless. I can say for the first time in my life I was fearless. It was amazing, and now I know what that feels like, and I feel like I can do anything. I will talk about the things I was fearless about later on, but for now I guess I will talk about the highlights of my stay.

The first highlight was getting my palm read. Now, I know this is against what I believe. It's hard to explain, without going into a long thing about what I believe about people who see the future I guess.

I shouldn't of done it, and I keep talking to God about it, because I'm not sure how to take it. The lady she was interesting. My friend and I got our palms done, my friend went first, and the lady kind of freaked her out because she was dead right on things. I can't remember everything she said to me so, I'll break it down such as this:
- She said, she sees a long healthy life for me.
- I was put here to give directions, not take them.
- I have a problem with authority. ( trueeee!)
- She sees success for me ( she kept repeating this; she even went as far to say she sees fame )
- That I need to move to NY, that is where I will get my break.
- That I'm a strong young women
- About letting go of a situation with these people I like, and starting fresh. Just letting go of them and starting anew. ( Which I did)
- She said in my Aura she saw rainbows and sunshine.
- That I am pure and clean ( truth, I am pure )
- Marriage and 4 kids
- To put my career before love, until I get success.

I got the cards too, but she wouldn't tell me, she just said I won't even tell you what this says because I need to let go of those people, and just start new. Start fresh, you will be a success.

Almost everything she told me, I kind of all ready felt if that makes sense. I guess her words just got me thinking and kind of made me want to kick things into gear. I continue to talk to God about this, because I just don't know how to feel about it.

So later on we went to see Taylor Lautner on the Today Show, mind you I haven't slept but 2 hours at this point. I was getting restless, like WHERE IS TAYLOR!?! I was like I will never come to the Today Show to see anyone again, not even the Jonas Brothers ( which cracks me up, you'll see in a sec ) I just wanted to sleep. Haha. But he was nice and signed as much as he could. Of course I was a fail at life, and forgot to zoom my camera back out, so my photo with him didn't turn out. Lol, it's him and like my hair. Haha but it's ok, I'll meet him again, no big.

Next, my friend won tickets to see a pre-screening of Eclipse. Which was Auhmazing, best one so far! Like Kristen, I actually felt Bella, it seemed so organic the whole movie. So after the movie the drama starts. I won't talk about it, cause it was so ridic. Basically we got kicked out of the place we were staying, that my friend was PAYING rent to live at. Anyways, that's another story.

So, I lost my blood sugar monitor. A friend was kind enough to take me to CVS at like 2 in morning to get another one. lol We had also stopped at the new Forever 21 in Times Square to buy some clean clothes. Mine were scary cause the shirt was shorter than I thought, but I worked it out. Anyways, so we find ourselves with no place to go, and we decided to just go to the Today Show to see Kristen, LOL right. After I said I wouldn't never go back,even for the Jonas Brothers. Clearly, Kristen was more important for some reason. lol It's ok though cause she was nice.

So we are chillin on the sidewalk and talking to some TwiMoms or something like that. Made a sign for Kstew, actually two. lol I'm thinking, I can't believe I am laying out here on the pavement for Kristen Stewart, awake for 48+ hours, no shower, looking skank nasty.

So we go in, get a good spot, and Al's like Kristen is running late because she stopped to get a latte or some ish. I'm thinking, are you serious right now? A Latte? Why didn't her asstistant have one ready for her?! Hellllo? So anyways she gets there, she looks tired as I don't even know. You can here me in my video say, she has bags under her eyes, I meant the bags you get from having little sleep, not because she's pale. lol

So anyways, Kristen and I had some awkward eye contact moment. I'm still not really sure of what happened, after it happened, I was just like huh? Lol, I was seriously that tired, so she comes around to sign stuff and this group of people hog her for like 5 hours, ok not that long but it seemed like it. When she got to us, they were like sorry no pictures guys, and I was like Fml.

So she signs my friends photo or something, and she gets to me. I don't even remember I'm pretty sure I just looked at her and she was like Hey what's up, and I was like err Hi, um yeah I don't have anything for you to sign soooo yeah. It was weird. So she moves to the next person, so then my friend gave me a photo to have her sign, and I run to the other side where she is at and like have my arm floating out with a magazine for her to sign, she looks confused, and looks at me like I hate you. Ok not really, but like huh, and then signs it and she on her way. We try to go to Regis and Kelly to get a photo, but paps are douchelords, and her security person wouldn't let her, which is understandable.

So then we go get the rest of out stuff from the place we are staying at, and move to a hotel. Crash out. Get up the next day to get the final stuff, and it takes longer than we thought, so we miss the Last Airbender red carpet. We meet up with some other friends, and want to get something to eat, but if we leave we will miss the people leaving.

So I stay and the security dude starts talking to me, and we get each others names and make friends. This is one of those moments where I feel I was fearless, it's hard to explain. But when Jackson comes out he doesn't stop for photos, so I'm like walking over to his limo, he is standing there like getting his guest into the limo. I just wanted a photo, security dude tried to help me get a photo, but Jackson was just like sorry no photos, so I was like ok. I wasn't going to rush him and like jump all up in his grill for a photo. We hear about where the after party is at, so I go back and ask another security person, who I get to talk to for a bit and make friends if it's at the place, he says yes we are right

We go eat, walk 20 blocks to the place, to find out we missed Jackson by 30 minutes. It wasn't meant to be to meet him, so it is, what it is. I guess I kind of met him.

We head back to the hotel, I finish packing. I fly home the next day.

The other moment when I was fearless, was when I decided to talk to a person, who I was afraid to talk to. Turns out it's not as scary as I thought it would be, and it helped me let go of that, which I needed to.

Wow this is the longest post ever!! I will proof read later. I am SO blessed, God is so good to me. Yes he is. I thank him for this experience, I feel like a new person, that I am stronger than I think and that I don't need to be afraid.

God Bless! xx - Jynnea