Didn't I tell you..

I told you the LORD was taking me on a journey and preparing me. SO much stuff I have learnt and opened my eyes to. Things that I felt in my spirit that I was unsure of, the LORD is helping me to see and understand.

There are many things I need to speak of, but I just do not know where to start. What I will say is that I need to dive into the word of YHWH so I can be ready.

All I know is that I am not longer celebrating "Christmas" if you are wondering why it's easy just search " Should Christians celebrate Christmas" It's like WOW. I kind of knew, but I've never known the true answer. First of all I know people say Jesus is the reason for the season, which is true...but Jesus wasn't even born in December or on Decemeber 25 for that matter. In fact the bible doesn't tell us the exact date of which Yeshua ( Jesus ) was born. "Christmas" is never mentioned in the bible, in fact the early church did not take part in "Christmas". If it were that important to celebrate this, don't you think God would of told us? Also people are like "let's put CHRIST back into "Christmas" umm that's a bit hard to do when he wasn't in it to begin with. It wasn't until the Catholic Church took over and did "Christmas" come into the picture.

Oh I'm just scratching the surface here. There is so much more I need to learn. Another thing that has really been on my mind and really in my spirit was Church...now I don't know how to get about this, so I am just going to type. I was just first of all really weird about it, and why were there so many different denominations. It just didn't set right with me, I used to think to myself, well God gave us the bible, it's pretty clear of what he wants us to do. But why is it that MAN can't seem to follow it? I really I am in the middle of learning.

So as of right now I do not call myself this or that. I am a child of YHWH, I love the LORD and I am all following HIS word, not what MAN is telling me to do. You feel me. I grew up Baptist, but why can't I just be, and just have God's word. Why do we need all these different names and denominations. There shouldn't be "well we don't believe this, so we are going to divide from you and start our own church..." um NO. It's doesn't matter, YHWH's word is his word. End of story. That's how I see it.

I personally feel like the LORD has been calling me, really moving me in my spirit to get ready. He's been revealing things to me, so I know it's not random or out of no where. Also the fact that I am not the only one who feels this, and who feels it in their spirit is proof to me. I don't know when or where. I just know its going to happen, and I need to be ready, we all do. Of course some won't, but if I can help that and try to help these people I will.

Another thing that's really been on my mind of moving, and getting out of here. I don't know why, but I am going to pray about it. Europe has really been on my mind, and not for fun. But for like leaving. America...I just, I don't know. I don't feel like I'm meant to stay here.

Ttys! Be blessed! YHWH bless :)

- Jynnea

Here's the thing...

I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be perfect. My life is changing, I am changing. I'm still learning, I'm still growing. Sometimes I get lost in the confusion. But there is something I do want to say. I think being in the industry, you know going in that there is a chance that you will make it, and you will become famous. So I don't think you should change yourself, but I do think you should think about what you do and how you influence people... I certainly try to think about the things I do and how it will effect me in the long run.

You know, I remember Nick (Jonas) saying he doesn't like when people say "I want to be famous." Well to be honest I do want to be famous. But for me the performing arts is my passion. That's how I feel about it, and I personally want fame, because I want to help people. I want to use my name, status, or "celebrity" to bring things to the attention of people who might not even care about that topic or what not. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be famous. If it's for the right reason, luckily for me I have always loved performing and being on stage. Before I had my first commercial audition, I strictly wanted to be a Broadway performer, I didn't really look into film and tv as much. But I love all outlets of the performing arts, so I don't want to limit myself.

I know my blogs are all happy, daises, and sun shine mostly. But everyone has bad days, days when they are just pissed off. I try to bring myself back to reality, before God has to step in, and put me line. I don't ever want it to go that far, but sometimes it does.

I have really been getting on myself lately about being judgemental. I always say I don't judge people, but sometimes it's like it's automatically in my head to "judge" them in some way, not in a bad way.

I want to be a good example for people, because that is hard to come by these days. I know the little kids I used to teach at my dance studio looked up to me. So I think it's possible to be yourself, but if you are about to do something wrong, that would not be an example for people who are looking up to you. Should you even be doing it in the first place? I think that's a good question to ask yourself...

I feel, I feel like. I don't know, this is my chance to start over. I have, I am starting a new chapter. There is something I want so bad right now, I believe in my heart that it is mine. God willing it will happen. I can't even say "if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen." That's how bad I want this. That's how much I believe in me.

All I know is one thing, I will never apologise for loving Christ. For loving God, for my faith. I honestly don't know what I would do if I didn't have my daily prayers/ talks with God. It would be so unnatural to me. But that's just me. I can't make you believe in God, but I can help you anytime you feel like it's your time to have a relationship with him. I have a very unique take on I guess religion. But that's another blog, another time. For now, I'm trusting God.

Whatever you want in life you can have. Ask, Believe, and Receive! I say AMEN to that!

Later! - xoxo.

Jynnea

Fearless.

First of all, Happy 4th of July. Please continue to pray for our troops.

Wow, what a whirlwind it has been I don't even know where to start. Well first I can say that I am thankful for the experience I had and for even getting the chance to do something like this. So I thank God for everything he has blessed me with.

So first off, I got invited to audition for the ABC talent showcase. I didn't make it through, but the fact that I even made it through two rounds is awesome to me. I'm proud. The fact that I was even picked out of thousands of people to come audition is a huge accomplishment to me. I'm not disappointed that I didn't make it, it wasn't meant for me or my time. But I got to live in New York for 2ish weeks and that was so fun. Up until the end when drama came in and ruined it, but everything happens for a reason.

One thing I learned while I was in New York, was how to be fearless. I can say for the first time in my life I was fearless. It was amazing, and now I know what that feels like, and I feel like I can do anything. I will talk about the things I was fearless about later on, but for now I guess I will talk about the highlights of my stay.

The first highlight was getting my palm read. Now, I know this is against what I believe. It's hard to explain, without going into a long thing about what I believe about people who see the future I guess.

I shouldn't of done it, and I keep talking to God about it, because I'm not sure how to take it. The lady she was interesting. My friend and I got our palms done, my friend went first, and the lady kind of freaked her out because she was dead right on things. I can't remember everything she said to me so, I'll break it down such as this:
- She said, she sees a long healthy life for me.
- I was put here to give directions, not take them.
- I have a problem with authority. ( trueeee!)
- She sees success for me ( she kept repeating this; she even went as far to say she sees fame )
- That I need to move to NY, that is where I will get my break.
- That I'm a strong young women
- About letting go of a situation with these people I like, and starting fresh. Just letting go of them and starting anew. ( Which I did)
- She said in my Aura she saw rainbows and sunshine.
- That I am pure and clean ( truth, I am pure )
- Marriage and 4 kids
- To put my career before love, until I get success.

I got the cards too, but she wouldn't tell me, she just said I won't even tell you what this says because I need to let go of those people, and just start new. Start fresh, you will be a success.

Almost everything she told me, I kind of all ready felt if that makes sense. I guess her words just got me thinking and kind of made me want to kick things into gear. I continue to talk to God about this, because I just don't know how to feel about it.

So later on we went to see Taylor Lautner on the Today Show, mind you I haven't slept but 2 hours at this point. I was getting restless, like WHERE IS TAYLOR!?! I was like I will never come to the Today Show to see anyone again, not even the Jonas Brothers ( which cracks me up, you'll see in a sec ) I just wanted to sleep. Haha. But he was nice and signed as much as he could. Of course I was a fail at life, and forgot to zoom my camera back out, so my photo with him didn't turn out. Lol, it's him and like my hair. Haha but it's ok, I'll meet him again, no big.

Next, my friend won tickets to see a pre-screening of Eclipse. Which was Auhmazing, best one so far! Like Kristen, I actually felt Bella, it seemed so organic the whole movie. So after the movie the drama starts. I won't talk about it, cause it was so ridic. Basically we got kicked out of the place we were staying, that my friend was PAYING rent to live at. Anyways, that's another story.

So, I lost my blood sugar monitor. A friend was kind enough to take me to CVS at like 2 in morning to get another one. lol We had also stopped at the new Forever 21 in Times Square to buy some clean clothes. Mine were scary cause the shirt was shorter than I thought, but I worked it out. Anyways, so we find ourselves with no place to go, and we decided to just go to the Today Show to see Kristen, LOL right. After I said I wouldn't never go back,even for the Jonas Brothers. Clearly, Kristen was more important for some reason. lol It's ok though cause she was nice.

So we are chillin on the sidewalk and talking to some TwiMoms or something like that. Made a sign for Kstew, actually two. lol I'm thinking, I can't believe I am laying out here on the pavement for Kristen Stewart, awake for 48+ hours, no shower, looking skank nasty.

So we go in, get a good spot, and Al's like Kristen is running late because she stopped to get a latte or some ish. I'm thinking, are you serious right now? A Latte? Why didn't her asstistant have one ready for her?! Hellllo? So anyways she gets there, she looks tired as I don't even know. You can here me in my video say, she has bags under her eyes, I meant the bags you get from having little sleep, not because she's pale. lol

So anyways, Kristen and I had some awkward eye contact moment. I'm still not really sure of what happened, after it happened, I was just like huh? Lol, I was seriously that tired, so she comes around to sign stuff and this group of people hog her for like 5 hours, ok not that long but it seemed like it. When she got to us, they were like sorry no pictures guys, and I was like Fml.

So she signs my friends photo or something, and she gets to me. I don't even remember I'm pretty sure I just looked at her and she was like Hey what's up, and I was like err Hi, um yeah I don't have anything for you to sign soooo yeah. It was weird. So she moves to the next person, so then my friend gave me a photo to have her sign, and I run to the other side where she is at and like have my arm floating out with a magazine for her to sign, she looks confused, and looks at me like I hate you. Ok not really, but like huh, and then signs it and she on her way. We try to go to Regis and Kelly to get a photo, but paps are douchelords, and her security person wouldn't let her, which is understandable.

So then we go get the rest of out stuff from the place we are staying at, and move to a hotel. Crash out. Get up the next day to get the final stuff, and it takes longer than we thought, so we miss the Last Airbender red carpet. We meet up with some other friends, and want to get something to eat, but if we leave we will miss the people leaving.

So I stay and the security dude starts talking to me, and we get each others names and make friends. This is one of those moments where I feel I was fearless, it's hard to explain. But when Jackson comes out he doesn't stop for photos, so I'm like walking over to his limo, he is standing there like getting his guest into the limo. I just wanted a photo, security dude tried to help me get a photo, but Jackson was just like sorry no photos, so I was like ok. I wasn't going to rush him and like jump all up in his grill for a photo. We hear about where the after party is at, so I go back and ask another security person, who I get to talk to for a bit and make friends if it's at the place, he says yes we are right

We go eat, walk 20 blocks to the place, to find out we missed Jackson by 30 minutes. It wasn't meant to be to meet him, so it is, what it is. I guess I kind of met him.

We head back to the hotel, I finish packing. I fly home the next day.

The other moment when I was fearless, was when I decided to talk to a person, who I was afraid to talk to. Turns out it's not as scary as I thought it would be, and it helped me let go of that, which I needed to.

Wow this is the longest post ever!! I will proof read later. I am SO blessed, God is so good to me. Yes he is. I thank him for this experience, I feel like a new person, that I am stronger than I think and that I don't need to be afraid.

God Bless! xx - Jynnea

I know what I'm saying now!

Wow, so I read some old blogs from like 2007, I wish I still had the ones from like 04..but those are long gone. Anywho, I'm totally listening to some Kate Nash right now --forgot how much I lurvee her-- so I've come up with me summer list!

So...it's not to have one! I just need to live, and stop trying to force things to happen. Lean on God, he will lead me. I'm just going to enjoy while I can, the world is going down hill. I need to read my bible and learn my word and have my armour ready. Jesus is coming ya'll, he is.

So that's it, to live life. Enjoy it. Cherise it. Be grateful.

I'm gonna dance this summer! I miss it sooo much! And learn guitar! Yesss.

ttys! xoxox. God Bless - Jynnea

So uh remember how that one time...

...I was supposed to break up with junk and fast food? Yeaaah about that...erm. It didn't happen.

It's been forever since I've written a blog. So I thought I would update. There is SO much that I want to say, I just don't know how to really say it right now. I thought about doing a "summer" list, but last time I did that, I pretty much did nothing that was on that list.

So I'm not sure, I'll have to update you soon...

Oops..

Well I kind of ate at a fast food place :( But I ate something "healthy" I was at work and hadn't packed anything so I had to eat something, and sometimes I still do the sit down restaurants. But I'm getting better. That's all I wanted to say. I'm kind of excited, pumped, blessed, awesome, thankful! Wow everything. Like I can't believe everything, God is great. I am staying positive about this. Soo yeah. Talk to you soon! :) xoxo

- Jynnea

Breaking Up is the hardest thing to do...

LOL!! OK well I've decided that I'm breaking up with fast food, even sit down restaurants for the month of April, after that for sure fast food. Even if it is a "healthy option" I need to get my diabetes under control again, so I need to cut out the fast food and sweets and junk...lol

So basically I'm going to prepare my meals so I know what I'm eating and how much of it I am eating. I will be ok and since it's April 1st ( no this is not an April fools joke ) it's a good time to start :) I have crest white stripes in my mouth and they are foaming and getting on my nerves... lol I need to spit the stuff out but I'm afraid the strips will come out. lol The best whitening stuff I've ever used is iWhite, stuff is awesome!

Anyways, I guess that's all for now. I'm getting over a sickness, Thank God. I've been praying for him to heal me, I got somethings coming up. So I need to get healthy, and the sugar better. I will update on how the break is going in a few days...

So ttyl! God is good xoxo. - Jynnea

Who cares?

Today, something happened and it was on my mind for a while and popped back up again. I was offended by something that had happened in the work place, because I felt like I had been slighted. I was upset for like 15 minutes and then I did they whole " They'll see when I'm famous, they'll wish they hadn't said that to me" number...then it hit me.

Little Joyce Meyer's voice popped up in my head, haha. I heard her say, don't be offended. Then I remembered one time she talked about being offended and moving on from being offended. So I was like she's right, I don't need to be offended. The only person I answer to is God ( and my parents ) If I would have stayed offended by what was done, I would just grow sour feelings for that person, and probably become a little witchy towards the subject of them in a way. It bothered me because the person didn't know the whole story, if they had I would have ( maybe ) but not really, been ok with their actions.

So I just thought I would write this and say try not to stay offended for too long and really think about if it's worth your time to be offended and upset by this person, because most likely they are just going to go on about there day and not be phased by it. So I just let this roll off my back.

Another thing I've been thinking about is a story that was in Self magazine, basically asking why aren't you living the life you want? What is holding you back from it, and how can you make it happen. I've been thinking about that a lot, there are quite a few things I need to finish up before I could really go onto living that life.

I will say this though, God has opened my eyes up to a whole new world. I feel like he is preparing me for the journey, and I am so very thankful that he opened my eyes to what I needed to know before really embarking in this.

Also NEEDTOBREATHE = LOVE! Seriously lovelovelove them! & the fact that they are a Christian band and give an uplifting, positive message is beautiful. I highly recommend them.

That's all for now! Be blessed :) God is great! xo. - Jynnea

Shout it out, I can't hold back no more,I let it out.

Ok, right now I am a bit mixed with my emotions. I'm happy, but I'm frustrated, I can't really blame anyone else though. I kind of set myself up for failure, but that's what happens when you wear your heart on your sleeve. I never thought I did, but now that I think about it I do, for the most part...

I don't know I was so convinced! IT just bothers me, and this is a true problem. If you knew the whole problem you would understand why this is really something so dumb, and pathetic...uhhh I don't know...but I'm not giving up because something deep inside is telling me not to, it's just a setback to throw me off. But I have to be strong and move forward not just with this, but everything in life. I must say I am full of hope, so I'm not going to think what if, but if, or it probably won't. I am just going to keep going and doing what I can, trusting God. I know he has more for me than I can even think of...

That's all I feel like saying right now! ttyl! God Bless. xoxo. Going to watch some Joyce Meyer! lovelovelove her! :)

Much Love. - Jynnea.

But you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

2010 is the year of NO FEAR. I plan on it being that way. Not just because Nick said it, but it's true, no fear is the best thing. New year, new beginnings. I don't want to be afraid anymore, so long I have dreamt about so many things, and yes the unknown is scary but, so is life, and I don't want to live in fear.

So Nashville was so great, we didn't really get to walk around. It was so cold! Nick was amazing, sadly I didn't get to meet him, the way things worked out I think I know why. It's hard to explain, but to sum it up. I talked to God about it, and well let's just say I have somethings to work on. So anyway we get there, I forgot that Nashville is a different time zone! So I gained an hour and got to take my shower and wash my hair! haha which I really wanted to wash my hair. We got to the Ryman at about 6:40ish and went in I really like it there, how the seats are the original pews. Pretty much every seat is a good seat in there, the balcony is the best if your not within the first few rows on the floor. Diane Burch was really good, amazing soulful voice. When Nick came out it was crazy! The screams were intense! For some reason I don't scream anymore when -- in this case Nick -- they came out, I just stand up, smile and clap. I cheer for them and stuff during the show. But I feel comfortable whenever I see them that I don't have to go crazy. Nick did such a great job, he was a natural! He owned the stage, his music is real. He is so talented. I forgot about Kevin and Joe the whole time pretty much and even forgot about 'Jonas Brothers' Nick is going places, God blessed him for sure with so much talent! I am so glad he and his brothers get to share it with us. So anyway after the concert I guess Nick left straight for D.C. -- I didn't know that so we walked to his hotel and walked around lost for like 35 mins in the cold. Finally we went to the Courtyard Marriott and asked for help, we were pretty close and I think we had already walked past the hotel once before! haha when we got there some other Team Jonas ppl were there waiting, I had just missed Mr.Jonas! Dang, haha. So we waited till 2am and I gave up cause we were so tired! Went back to our hotel ate some noodles and then we were gone. haha One of the best concerts ever. I had so much fun, I was enjoying myself. Christa Black was there, Jordan Pruitt, and of course Maya!

It was a great way to start the New Year! God is so good! So so good to me. I am blessed, my family is blessed and we are grateful! I really hope Jonas Brothers go on tour this summer! How fun would it be to go to a bunch of shows?! Um crazy fun right! Ha, but we'll see. I dont' know the future, I trust God with whatever has wants me to do. 2010 is the year of No Fear! No dream is to big or small.

God Bless! xoxox -- Jynnea.